Most children's writers have a story about lack of respect. Maybe it was a passing remark about graduating to writing for adults. Or maybe it was someone treating them as if writing isn't really work. Although most people will cheerfully announce that nothing is more important than our children, apparently a lot of people feel that few things are less important than our children's books. Unfortunately, some of the people supporting this notion are children's writers themselves. How do we do that? By showing a lack of respect for our own work. If we do not value our writing efforts, we devalue it in the eyes of others. When you devalue your work, you will find it more difficult to schedule writing into your busy day. You will find it more difficult to write the kind of confident query letters that result in publication. You will find it more difficult to bounce back from the disappointment of rejection letters. You will find it more difficult to enjoy the process of writing and will tend to devalue your successes.

When you talk about your writing, how do you refer to it? Do you call it your hobby? Do you allow any and every request to push aside your writing? Have you internalized the low opinion of others and brought it into your own work? Children's writing is a difficult field and very competitive. Each year, most publishing houses receive thousands of manuscripts and publish a dozen or so. Therefore a children's book and the accompanying letters have to impress an editor instantly to stand a chance. How can we produce confident letters and professional manuscripts if we have no self-confidence?

Unfortunately, writing brings out every insecurity hiding in a person - and children's writing brings them out quickest of all.

Insecurity robs more writers of success than any other single thing. An insecure writer will not persevere when the going - and the rejection - gets tough. An insecure writer will let the opinions of others cause her to abandon her dream. An insecure writer will be buffeted by the opinions of her peers. An insecure writer will be tentative in marketing and lose many opportunities. For the sake of your writing, you must overcome these insecurities. Some of them will always be with you, but you can learn to push past them to view yourself and your work as worthwhile.

Here are some steps to better writing self-image.

1. Take your writing seriously. This doesn't mean that you should write serious stuff. You should write what you want most to write. However, the process of writing is worthy of respect. Begin to change the way you talk about you writing to yourself and others.

One important step is to stop thinking of your writing as a hobby. People who write for a hobby rarely get published. This doesn't mean you have to suddenly find 40 hours a week to devote to writing. It does mean to begin to see your writing as a part-time job. Or think of your present small bits of writing time as an apprenticeship - a training ground for the job field you are entering. A job is worthy of respect, and investment - investment of time, money and energy. You may still be in the training portion of your writing job, but you should still consider it a job. A hobby, on the other hand, is simply something that distracts you from work. Writing is work.

Begin calling yourself a children's writer. If you don't devote a lot of time to your writing, you can say, "I write for children part-time." This tends to lead naturally into people asking what you have published. Instead of blushing and saying, "Nothing yet." Tell them instead about the project you are working on. Ask for their expertise in some area, or run a small scenario you are considering by them. People love to be considered experts and rarely will the conversation return to your publishing credits. Also, a funny thing will happen. Since you solicited their advice, your prestige will automatically be heightened in their eyes. Plus, you can often gain valuable insights into the piece you are writing as you begin brain storming about certain sections with others. You may not use any of their ideas but often the process of talking about your work will spark ideas in yourself that you had not considered.

Your self-talk about your writing needs to be positive as well. If someone says something critical of your writing, look for specifics where you can grow and improve. When you re-read something you have written, don't give in to the urge to over-criticize. Instead, look at editing as a chance to make it even better - not an effort to salvage. When you get rejection letters in the mail, re-edit the piece, honing it to an even better story, and send it somewhere else. Accept rejection as a call to improve - not give up. Fight the urge to quit. Rejection isn't failure, it's a step toward acceptance. You cannot fail, unless you quit.

Sometimes it helps to look yourself in the mirror and say, "I am a better writer today than I was yesterday. I am learning more, trying harder and getting better. Eventually, I will reach my goals." Since you are your own biggest critique, you need to become your biggest supporter as well.

Children's writing is a noble profession. Writing is a creative act that few will accomplish with skill. The fact that you are willing to undertake the challenge reflects well on your courage and perseverance. Plus, writing for children is especially important as you are taking part in shaping the opinions and insights of people who will someday rule the world. You should take your writing seriously; it is worth serious notice.

2. Do not discuss your writing with people who are not supportive. Sometimes those people closest to us do not support our writing efforts. Often they simply cannot understand what drives a person to write. Sometimes our families can be jealous of the time we spend writing. As a result, some of the very people who we count on to support us instead drain our creative energy with criticism and slights. Instead of hoping that they will eventually come around, simply don't discuss your writing with these folks.

Having people slight your writing can be very discouraging. You may feel the need to defend your work. Often, when you do return to the blank screen or paper, you find that some of the joy of the process is gone. Positive self-talk and encouraging quotes pasted around your computer will help, but it is far better to avoid these soul-draining encounters in the first place. If you know someone is not in support of your writing, don't talk about it with him or her. Change the subject. Ask the person a question of your own.

3. Do get involved with other writers who can support you and your efforts. Not all writers will be supportive of your efforts, so you should choose writers who offer positive encouraging interaction. I have known writers for adults who say things like, "When are you going to start doing some real writing?" Children's writing is real writing. In many ways it is more difficult than writing for adults. I have written for both children and adults and I find it much easier to get published in the adult arena. Children's publishers are pickier and more demanding. And children are very particular consumers.

Getting involved with other writers can take many forms. If you have the time and the money, you should consider attending a conference. You will find many listed in the Children's Writer's and Illustrator's Market. Conferences will allow you to meet many other writers, as well as illustrators, editors, and agents. You will learn more about the industry and, usually, you will come home fired up to write again. Be warned: some of what you learn will not seem encouraging. Children's writing is tough! But let that be a call to perseverance, not a reason to quit.

Another way to get involved is through a critique group. Critique groups can support your efforts, while also pointing out ways you need to improve. A good critique group is a careful balance of support and constructive criticism. You might choose to look for, or even form, a face-to-face critique group in your area. Or you might choose to take part in an online critique group. There are advantages and disadvantages to each, and you may find that one or the other fits your personality best.

Online is another great place to meet other writers. There are children's writer's chat rooms, message boards, and mailing lists. You can find an excellent and supportive discussion board right here at the Institute in the Writer's Retreat. http://forums.institutechildrenslit.com:6080/mb/index.html

If you have the time to read a lot of email, there are a number of excellent mailing lists just for children's writers. You can check out yahoogroups and find lists for children's writers who specialize in nonfiction or picture books or novels. My favorite list is the huge general writing list for children's writers. To subscribe, just send a blank email to Childrens-Writers-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

4. Get something published. Nothing boosts yourself image like seeing your name in print. Sometimes your dream is to publish this lovely middle-grade novel that you are working on, but you find it just so hard to stick with it. Sometimes it helps to work on more than one thing - with some of your other projects being shorter and more easily finished and published. You might consider a children's craft, party plan or short nonfiction magazine piece. They don't pay very well but are personally rewarding. I often turn out a few crafts or a poem, while working on something longer. The boost of getting those acceptance letters helps take the sting out of an occasional rejection for something longer.

5. Take positive action. I find that I am much more confident when I am well prepared. Therefore, I am always reading new books on writing, and seeking out writing-related web sites. Writers never really feel like they have "arrived". Even the most well published children's writers admit that they are constantly learning about the business. Within children's writing, there are many categories - picture books, easy readers, chapter books, etc. Read all the books you can find that are in the category you desire to write and publish. Know what is out there, what is new and what is classic. Read both for the joy of reading and with a critical eye. Notice what makes a book good and what makes it bad. Read especially those books that are popular - often children's tastes are different from those of adults. We must learn to read like both writers and children.

As you learn more about the process of writing, you will find that you become more adept at finding the right market for your voice, avoiding common writing mistakes, and recognizing those weaknesses in your writing that you must be especially alert for. This will shorten the process of creation and marketing because you will spend less time wrestling with your own lack of information about yourself, and about your place in the children's market. This is one reason why critique groups are so valuable. Although a good critique nearly always hurts a bit, it will also help you to learn about yourself as a writer. What are patterns of writing that you have fallen into that hurt you? How can what you learned on this manuscript be generalized to the next story you write? I have heard of some writers who make the same mistakes over and over, never taking the time to see how one manuscript critique might be applied to another. Let every bit of information you receive be held up against your writing, in general, so that every day can be a process of becoming a better, more publishable, writer.

6. Don't be derailed by rejection. Rejection letter do not mean that you have failed. Although they are disappointing, they should not be allowed to drain your enthusiasm. All writers get rejections. Of all the children's writers I know, none of them would tell you that they have reached a point where they no longer get rejection letters. According to Joy Cowley, author of a multitude of easy readers, "Joy Cowley does get rejection slips. So do other published writers. In fact, I would only write for a publisher I could trust to reject a story that wasn't good, because I'm not always objective about a story when I send it away." As a new or growing writing, it is best to view rejection letters as just one more step in getting published. They point out the subjective nature of this business. Sometimes a rejection letter is not a reflection on your manuscript at all - but on the limitations of the publishers. Publishers cannot publish every worthwhile manuscript they receive.

However, you must consider the possibility that the rejection letter is a sign of a weakness in your manuscript. Give your manuscript a fresh look. After all, you are a better writer today when you get your rejection letter than you were when you sent out the manuscript. You are getting better and more informed every day. Therefore, reread the manuscript and look for flaws that you missed earlier. If you have a piece that seems to be getting a lot of rejection, have your critique group look at it before you send it again. Look closer at the publishers to whom you are submitting. Have your researched their book line (or back magazine issues) until you are confident that you are making the best fit between manuscript and publisher. A scattershot mailing does nothing but wrack up extra rejection letters for you and bigger slush piles for the publisher. Don't send the manuscript out again until you are confident in it and in your choice of publisher.

7. Set personal goals. It is hard to get somewhere when you don't know where you want to go. You just wander around, hoping that eventually you arrive…and that when you do arrive, you recognize it! So, how does a freelance writer, either full-time or part-time, begin the process of visualizing himself as a success? The first step is to identify a vision for your work. Productive work is purposeful. It is not some nebulous, pie-in-the-sky process of daydreaming at the computer while we wait for the muse to hit. It is work--efficient, purposeful work.

So I challenge you to begin today to create a vision for your writing work and make a deadline for completion of the vision. Type out the vision and mount it where you can see it regularly and then begin work on your long-term goals. Post them also. They say you become what you meditate on - let's meditate on success.